My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
