Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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