It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize