He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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