dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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