I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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