I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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