the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
