Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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