I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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