dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
