I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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