i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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