i permit you to call me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
