I CAN MOONWALK!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
