I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
