i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
