I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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