Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize