how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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