I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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