Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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