yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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