All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
