I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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