Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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