I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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