all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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