i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
