i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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