I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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