I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
