so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I could make wine with my vomit
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
