a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
