Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
