have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
