New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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