dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
