First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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