How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He kissed a someone with a penis
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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