i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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