i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
