he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
