I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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