At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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