I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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