yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
