I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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