So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
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