I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
