We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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