I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
