he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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