Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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