She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
