Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.

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(214): View more from Texas

So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis

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(518): View more from New York

our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.

(770): View more from Georgia

That's the only definition of lonely that I know.

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(756): View more from

i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry

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(443): View more from Maryland

I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.

(410): View more from Maryland

Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.

(443): View more from Maryland

Deal.

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