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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

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• (718): View more from New York

  what happened last night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

  (718): View more from New York

  that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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• (818): View more from California

  I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?

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• (214): View more from Texas

  He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone

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