Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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(210): View more from Texas

Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.

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(407): View more from Florida

Your dick is once again the conversation topic.

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(949): View more from California

Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.

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(845): View more from New York

Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"

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(269): View more from Michigan

Security deposit gone.

(269): View more from Michigan

burned down garage with fireworks.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza

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