I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
