I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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