She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
