Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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