There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
